What I Wouldn't Give for a Vegetable!!!

For my toddler that is. I enjoy a small variety of vegetables. I love fruit. My (almost) 27 month old... well that's a different story.

Since this is my first blog entry about the journey that I've found myself in the midst of, I'll take you in from the beginning...

My little guy (Ayden) was born two days before his due date. He was a very healthy 9lbs 9oz and was 20 inches long and had a gargantuan noggin (thanks honey for passing that onto our boys - I am the one who has to birth that head after all!)

I began nursing him within minutes of his birth and boy did that boy nurse! I recall one marathon nursing session that lasted in excess of six hours. Straight. No breaks (unless you count the few seconds to a minute where I either switched sides or tried to reason with my newborn that he really wasn't THAT hungry - who knew newborns don't listen to reason... funny my 15 year old doesn't either, but I digress).

Anyway, I have been very blessed that all of my children have been healthy and happy. Ayden was no exception. He gain weight steadily, met his milestones on time (sometimes a little early) and was generally a happy baby. When he was about 6 or 8 weeks old, I decided to become the better mother that I had wanted to be for all my boys but always seemed to fall short. I figured I had the time to delve into it, since I was now able to be a stay at home mom and didn't need to juggle work, family and ME time. I switched to organic foods where ever possible including almost all of our produce. I also began my obsession with cloth diapering (but that's a whole different blog). I only wish I had cloth diapered my older boys!

When Ayden began eating solids, of course I chose organic baby foods (I still did not have the time to go 100% and grow my own organic fruits and veggies and blend them to perfect mommy pureed goodness). Ayden enjoyed a variety of foods and like his brothers before him showed a preference to squash and sweet potatoes. He was a GREAT eater! We began to introduce finger foods: cheerios, etc. He seemed to do well with them after a little practice. He started drinking out of a cup and once he got the hang of that, enjoyed a cup of water with his meals and snacks.

When he was gobbling all of the 1st foods and wanting more, we moved to the 2nd foods. You know, bigger jar, a little chunkier texture but still that pureed stuff you try not to wrinkle your nose at while you spoon into your little guy's mouth? Yeah, that's the stuff! He liked it and was soon polishing off a jar and wanting more. So we attempted the 3rd foods. Bigger chunks, more foods mixed together and even more attempts to not wrinkle your nose. Ayden didn't tolerate it very well. He was almost a year at this point. I'm not 100% sure because I didn't think to document it - it really wasn't a big deal. So we continued on with the 2nd foods and tried to introduce more table foods. He had his top and bottom front teeth by this point and was working on some molars. We tried feeding him a little of what we were eating and he usually ignored it and favored his baby food and cheerios. Again, I wasn't concerned.

This continued until he was about 12 or 13 months. At that point, I brought it up with our pediatrician, almost in passing. I was mildly concerned that he wasn't moving on to table foods and self feeding (not that he wasn't capable, he put those cheerios down like nobody's business). He had added those organic Elmo snacks by Earth's Best to his repertoire and he seemed to like goldfish crackers. He'd also sneak some M&M's whenever mommy was sneaking them... I can't blame him on that one. I'd like to sneak some M&M's now....

Where was I?

Anyway, we knew that he COULD self feed, so that wasn't the issue. The ped said that as long as he wanted to eat baby food to let him. He was still gaining weight and growing (albeit more slowly, but this is the trend for my boys, come out with huge heads and chubby cheeks and thunder thighs only to slim down to the skinny little things.... strangely their heads still remain massive). So we continued to offer him table food and spoon feed him baby food. He would occasionally "help" and while it was messy, I acknowledged it was an important part of learning how to be an independent eater so I let him get messy.

A few months later, he started refusing baby food. He'd eat a bite or two and then clamp the ol' jaw shut and refuse to open it. He still wasn't touching the table foods we were offering but continued to munch away on his Cheerios, crackers, and "Elmos". Hmmm... Now I WAS concerned. You know that saying "he won't starve himself"? It implies that toddlers are more stubborn that we are (whoever said that must not have met ME), but will eat when they're hungry enough. I tried and I tried, but the kid apparently was never "hungry enough". I brought it up with the ped again about a month later when I realized the "phase" wasn't short enough for my liking. He suggested vitamins and to stick to my guns about not caving in and letting him eat only what he wanted.

I couldn't give him vitamins though because the liquid stuff he could smell a mile away and he wouldn't touch his milk if it had some in it. I couldn't mix it in applesauce or anything because he wouldn't EAT applesauce. I asked my ped again what to do and he referred us to a feeding clinic.

We called the feeding clinic and they sent us a HUGE packet of paperwork they wanted us to fill out before they'd even schedule an appointment for us. UGH. So I set out to work on the packet.... but it was riddled with questions about J-tubes and special apparatuses needed for feedings and other "extremes" that I feel blessed never to have dealt with. I began to wonder if this was really the right line of "treatment". He had also just started at daycare because I had needed to return to work when he was around 6 months old and our nanny was no longer working out for us :( so I thought maybe the socialization and "peer pressure" would help/solve his problem.

At this point, Ayden was about 18 months old and still nursing several times per day. Which was fine with me; I've always believed in child led weaning. My oldest weaned around 2 and my middle son weaned at a year.

So the "peer pressure" didn't work. Maybe I should be glad. This may speak wonderfully for when he's a teenager and faced with a difficult situation!

By the time Ayden's 2 year check up came around, I revisited the issue with our pediatrician. He said that he too wasn't sure if the feeding clinic was the right avenue for us to pursue so he had taken it upon himself to call them and find out if this was something they could help us with (LOVE our ped by the way). He assured us that they deal with a broad spectrum of eating disorders/problems/quirks.

So I've been dragging my feet for the last three months. Finally, I called the feeding clinic and and them resend the mega packet and I filled it out last night. The only thing that needs to be completed is the 3-day food journal, which I sent to the daycare this morning. They're going to fill it out during the day today and tomorrow and I will fill it out for this evening and tomorrow evening as well as all day Saturday. I'll mail the packet in on Monday and wait for a call so I can schedule our 1 1/2 hour appointment (which we need to arrive early for, so really it will be at least 2 hours).

Ayden is still breastfeeding, though only 2-3 times per day now and not for very long (maybe 10-15 minutes per session). He's still eating a select few foods (I'll give a full list in a later blog post, this one has become exceedingly long!) and is still growing and gaining weight... but slowly.

So there you are. If you have an extremely picky eater of your own... rest assured that you are not alone and your concerns are valid. Ignore the people who roll their eyes and scoff when you express your concerns about how little they eat or how little variety. SOME picky-ness in toddlers is normal of course, but to the extreme... there may be something else underlying.

I'll update as I go on this journey so that any readers (anyone? hello?) will know that they're not alone in this frustrating journey.

And if you made it this far.... you must be at the end of your rope ((HUGS)) or a friend of mine.